Where did all the Love go?
Have you ever found yourself secretly looking at your partner and asking yourself this question?
Probably most of us have at some time wondered what got us into our current relationship and what happened to the thrill and excitement of that time?
My experience and research indicates that for most people Love goes through different phases. The ‘Romantic Love’ that we remember has an average shelf life of only a couple of years.
It is then replaced by the ‘Working Love’ phase in which both partners are busy building a home, family and the income to pay for both. They emerge from this phase 20 years later asking themselves searching questions like ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Who is this person I live with?’
Tangled up with all this are the issues related to sex. It may have been sex-appeal that got one into the relationship in the first place, but where did that go to?
Having physical intimacy with the same person for 25 years can become rather dull and predictable.
There is a widespread belief that women lose interest in sex once their child bearing years are over. I haven’t found that to be true. Some of the most sex-appealing women around are well into midlife.
So where do we go from here? In my book there is a chapter called ‘Sex and the over 45s’. In it I discuss the many ways midlife couples can keep sexual interest alive and thus feed the underlying love in their relationship.
However, I could be wrong! I would like your feedback.
Once the book is published I would like to supplement it with several surveys to find out how much agreement there is with my observations about love and sex for midlife people. Maybe my ideas will be changed for future publications by the experiences of a larger group.
So watch out for information about the book publication date and the first survey.