What do midlife women get from St Valentine’s day?
A card and maybe some flowers, if you are lucky!
For midlife men, this is usually a duty more than a gesture of affection or desire to please.
Remembering St Valentine’s day, or a wedding anniversary, is a necessary duty to avoid earache
or worse, such as ‘Your dinner is in the dog!’
What happened to all the romance that used to result in cards, flowers and other gestures of affection and endearment?
In my book, Love Sex and the Midlife Woman, I explain that love goes through different phases. It starts with Romantic Love, but that only lasts a couple of years at most. Courtesy of Wikipedia
It is then replaced by ‘Working Love’. Here the love is taken for granted because the burdens of home building, family rearing and money generation become the main priority.
Not only is the love taken for granted, so is the woman, or so it can feel. It is necessary to keep that love alive by conscious action to do so.
I recount in the book hearing a couple in a lingerie shop on St Valentine’s day discussing what they were going to buy for the night ahead.
I guessed by their age and the area that they were a midlife couple away from home and children. They were clearly intent on celebrating their love in the privacy of a hotel bedroom.
For the midlife woman who is not satisfied with the gesture of a card and a last-minute bunch flowers, can I suggest a question to be asked in advance of St Valentine’s Day?
That would be: ‘What are we going to DO to celebrate St Valentine’s day?’
You may need to persist until you get a satisfactory answer. You never know you may come up with something which could be done more than once a year!
For ideas on how to brighten up and renew your love life during the early midlife phase, read the chapter in my book called ‘Working Love’.
PS. If you are not comfortable with reading on a Kindle, Tablet or Phone, you can get the paperback version through the same link http://amzn.to/2gyTJbZ